The Gambler's Daughter Chapter 9 continued
A Work in Progress
The Set Up
If you’re new, you can start the story from the beginning HERE or go ahead and jump in.
This is the working draft of a new Roosevelt County Novel about Maxine, a ten-year old girl growing up in Eastern New Mexico in the 1930s. Think Little House on the Prairie, but on the edge of the Dust Bowl and Pa is a gambler.
In these installments, I pull back the curtain on my revision process, posting drafts-in-progress, complete with the typos, question marks, and random “add more here!” notes to self. I’ll explain what has me “stuck” in the chapter or what problems I’m still working to resolve.
You’ll be invited to give feedback, so stick around for the Issues section and comment button.
Chapter 9 continued
After we finished eating, we joined a circle of girls from Elida playing jacks on a smooth area of the year. From the corner of my eye, I saw Claude standing near our game. I suspected he was going to sabotage my play again, but he didn’t make a move to get any closer. Still, his very presence had me so rattled that I didn’t make it past foursies before I faltered and forfeited my turn. I turned to Claude, prepared to hear his taunts.
“Momma sent me to fetch you,” he said. It took a second for his words to register, since the message was unexpected. Now, I guessed I needed to tend to Gordon in some way. I let Cleo take my spot in the game and found Momma sitting among her friends and family, all wearing troubled expressions. I approached with some apprehension, my face taking on their worried countenance.
“Hi, Sugar,” Momma said as she reached up to take my hand and pulled me down to sit with them. Gordon was nowhere near. I sat on the quilt, searching Momma’s face for an indication of what might be wrong.
“I was telling the ladies about the situation during the lunch recess, and we wondered how many of your classmates have stopped bringing food to eat.”
I imagined Mrs. Mullis’s classroom and went up and down the rows in my mind, keeping count on my fingers of the classmates I’d noticed without a lunch last week. While I counted, I felt the gazes of the ladies gathered and hoped I wasn’t missing anyone. I completed my mental roll call once more to be certain.
“There are four from my class,” I answered with confidence. Mrs. Flint listened to the conversation with great concern.
“And how many children are in your class?” Aunt Xenia asked.
“Eleven,” I answered. Aunt Xenia tsked quietly in reply.
All the ladies all murmured their pity. “Four of eleven in the fourth grade, and I’m sure the numbers are similar across the grade school. Each of those four likely has brothers and sisters in other classes,” Momma said.
Mrs. Greathouse asked, “If they don’t have a potato to spare midday, do you reckon they’re getting a bite at suppertime?”
I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to answer that question. Deanne’s mother wasn’t looking at me when she asked it, and besides, I didn’t know the answer. I continued sitting quietly. At length, Momma told me I could go back to playing with my friends. I was relieved to be dismissed, but I couldn’t shake Mrs. Greathouse’s question. Could it be that Cleo wasn’t eating lunch or supper?
The Issues
The issue for this chapter is actually a bit of a time warp illusion. The problem with the chapter is that Maxine’s voice is STILL largely missing. The good news is, I found her voice around chapter 16 of the rewrite. The bad news (for you anyway) is that I’m going to finish this rewrite before I go back to the beginning and make another pass at the manuscript to give her a consistent voice from beginning to end. At least you know that if you end up with the finished book in your hands, it will not be exactly the same as what you’re reading here!