Not a Moment to Spare/Wild Life is Everywhere (Everyware)

A garden visit, my daughter the poet, and a reflection on competing commitments

Competing Commitments

When I meet with coaching clients, it’s common to talk about competing commitments. The conversation usually starts with phrases like, “Why can’t I . . .” or “I still haven’t . . .” It’s an expression of frustration that the things we want to do or change, still need to be done. Clients and (inner) critics are quick to blame laziness or lack of commitment, but what’s actually at play are competing commitments.

That’s why this week, when I heard myself thinking, “I’ve lost all focus! I don’t have my garden update ready to share, I haven’t returned phone calls and emails, and when was the last time I worked on the novel I want to finish by May 23^rd?” I knew it was time for reflection. If I haven’t done the things I meant to do, what have I been doing? And did I mean to do those things?

Since I live by my planner, it was easy to review how I’ve spent my time. Looking back, my competing commitment was obvious. As far as vocations go, I am a life coach and an author, but first and foremost, I am a homemaker. I drive kids to games (with snacks for the team) and theater productions (with a crockpot for the cast potluck). I’m growing a garden and keeping up with the laundry. My husband’s job requires frequent travel and late nights in the spring, and when he’s home, it’s important to put the laundry basket down and join him for some chitchat.

Looking back at my planner, I smiled at the recent memories of my mom’s visit, rainy soccer games, my son on stage, and our Easter potluck. Looking ahead, I can see that writing and business are going to take a back seat for a while longer as I prepare for more house guests, end of year celebrations, and summer travel.

I haven’t lost focus. I’ve kept it on the things that matter most right now. To quote my daughter’s latest poem, “there’s not a moment to spare/wild life is everywhere.” I don’t want to be so driven by goals and to do lists that I miss the wildness of life.

I hope you find encouragement in my reflection and give yourself permission to question the critics. If you need a little more, take heart in my daughter’s poem below.